Before the retreat started, I got a text from a retreat guest who is about to join us for his 6th Italy retreat. It read:
One thing that really hit me when thinking about the week is the communal table. It is easy to take for granted as ‘that place we sit to eat’, which of course it is, but it is more than that. I’m grateful for it, and even thinking of what I want to bring home with me from this year’s trip before it happens, I know I want to host more gatherings at my place, where friends & I can share various cuisines, drinks, and stories until the wee hours.
He honed in on something I haven’t ever quite identified. How we gather for meals at the retreat is a completely different way of eating and being together. It's not like home, there are no decisions, no cooking, and best of all… no dishes! But it's also not a restaurant: there are no menus, no cost-benefit analysis of what’s worth the price, and no pulling out the credit card at the end of the meal.
By the time our retreat guests arrive, the bills have already been paid. There are no rushed or crowded restaurants. And every meal is menu dégustation: basically we eat whatever Chef Alice wants to feed us. Even after 10 retreats, she hasn’t let us down once. We try dishes we would have never chosen on our own, expand our palates, and always learn so much. At our communal table, we are treated with exceptional hospitality and enjoying the meal with our retreat group always makes the food tastes even better. We often linger over lively conversation as bottles of wine are eventually emptied and to ask Alice why our pastas never taste this good.
It's a very different way for us Americans to eat, even when we are searching for the quintessentially delicious Italian food. Usually Americans travel to Italy to check off popular destinations like Venice, Florence, and Rome.Those cities are great and I’ve eaten at restaurants that range from small trattorias to multiple Michelin-stars. Some of those meals were memorable and some were mediocre, but they have all been linear: decide where to eat, sit down, order, eat, pay, and leave. I’ve rarely returned to the same table twice because most travel is focused on moving on to the next attraction, the next city, and the next restaurant.
Gathering at our communal retreat table is cyclical, relaxed, and communal.
We stay in one place and appreciate the range and depth of one chef, one season, and one very special place.
The communal table reflects that slowing down and finding a sense of belonging is crucial to being well-fed.
Too often we believe that wellness is all about touching our toes, counting steps, or eating the right amount of protein. But the Italians remind us that how we eat is as important as what we eat. The ritual of gathering at the communal table is about truly about living well.
